Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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