We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
