toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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