No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Pooping to opera.
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