I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize