i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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