Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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