i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
