every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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