there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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