Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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