I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
