okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
