Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

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(301): View more from Maryland

this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

(920): View more from Wisconsin

he wasn't. neither were you.

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(254): View more from Texas

The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.

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(785): View more from Kansas

They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

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(760): View more from California

She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.

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(513): View more from Ohio

This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday

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