Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize