the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize