I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist