Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast