i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.