I just made out with a guy for $7.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.