If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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