Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
