I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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