Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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