Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
