Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
