So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
