Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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