I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
