she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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