i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
