Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
