I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
