the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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