I just made out with a guy for $7.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Fuck appropriateness.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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