literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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