Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
