I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
