I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
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Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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