I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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