The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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