Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
