Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
where does the pee come out of this thing
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize