I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
