Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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