The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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