Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
