i think i scared a bird with my dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize