from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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