they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
