So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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