I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
