YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
