super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
