so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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