I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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