I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
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he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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