Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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